100 things about me

1. I'm currently 31 years old and in my favorite decade of life so far.
2. I have brown hair, green eyes, fair skin, freckles.
   
3. My dad died a couple years ago at age 50.
4. He and I didn't know he was my dad, for sure, until I was 7.
5. My parents were teenage drug addicts when Mom gave birth to me.
   
6. My parents were never a couple.
7. My first step-father sexually abused me from birth to age 6.
8. I spent my first 25 years depressed, my first six suicidal.
9. I've always heard and felt spirits, sometimes saw them.
10. Mine and my children's dreams often overlap.
11. My daughters are currently ages 5 and 3, Maia Byhalia and Ilana Kiri.
12. I'm currently pregnant with a third child, due in September.
13. I've conversed with this child and another that isn't coming after all.
14. My kids and I are nearly always together.
15. I avoid most grains and dairy foods (gluten and casein).
    
16. I love fermented foods, especially sauerkraut and kimchi.
    
17. I read a lot, usually several books at the same time.
18. I plant vegetables in my backyard.
19. I sew for my kids, but not often for myself.
20. I compulsively simplify recipes and patterns.
21. My interests include homeschooling, unschooling, attachment parenting, continuum concept, psychic development, writing fiction and nonfiction, meditation, breastfeeding, elimination communication, infant potty training, natural living, rewilding, primitive skills, paleolithic nutrition, homebirth, genealogy, domestic skills, . . .
22. I wrote a memoir, strange little girl, and some other books.
23. I'm very lonely.
24. I work at home doing transcription (Work At Home Like I Do), other computer work, and freelance writing.
25. I'm presently listening to Judy Collins' Blowing in the Wind on Pandora.
26. My mother named me after Bob Dylan's Sara.
    
27. I'm currently reading Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series.
    
28. I cry readily, for happiness or sadness, my own and other people's, especially when there are a lot of people around.
29. I have tattoos of fairies and flowers.
30. I'm in my second marriage.
31. My husband and I elaborately named our cats, Ivan Pee-Chai "Bubba the Plush" and Nokomis Cho "Minninewah."
32. I cut my hair when I feel depressed, and I always regret it.
    
33. I had a near-death experience at age 19.
34. I dropped out of high school, as did both of my parents before me, and each of my siblings after me.
35. I'm the oldest of my mother's four children.
36. My mom had four kids by age 23, all by different men, except for the twins.
    
37. I was an overweight teen.
38. During high school, I played soccer, clarinet in the marching band, and rode a skateboard.
39. I married my high school boyfriend.
40. I saw my mother sexually assaulted and battered several times.
41. In college, I studied business, foreign languages, fine arts, and literature.
42. My paternal grandmother was institutionalized after dancing nude on a table with a bucket over her head in her front yard.
43. I never met my father's parents or anyone else in his family besides him.
44. I've worked as a housekeeper, child care provider, legal secretary, department store clerk, bartender, web developer, and newspaper carrier, but all I ever really wanted was to be a mother.
45. I rarely wear shoes.
46. I've never had a driver's license.
47. I breastfed my first daughter until she was 4.
48. I breastfed my second daughter until recently when my milk dried up during pregnancy.
49. I got stopped by a police woman after a woman on a jogging path complained of indecent exposure because I was breastfeeding.
50. A man at a drum circle asked me to breastfeed away from the drum.
51. I get really upset when people criticize breastfeeding.
52. I consider formula-feeding offensive, but I don't complain about it. I just feel sad.
53. I meditate for an hour each night before sleep.
54. I don't have any maternity clothing, so I have to get creative to keep my body covered, at least when I leave the house.
55. I would forgo electricity and a lot of civilization's trappings, if I didn't worry about the govm't taking away my children.
56. I'm a recovering vegetarian.
57. I'm still a sugar addict.
58. I'm feeling pretty fat at nearly 160 pounds and gaining.
59. I gained thirty to forty pounds during my previous pregnancies.
60. For the first time in my life, I don't have a pet dog.
61. I exercise most days, at least a little.
62. I'm a nervous wreck when my kids play out front around all the driveways.
63. I live in a circle of 5 houses with pavement in the middle.
    
64. My 5-yr-old and I have identical braided hairdos today.
65. I really look forward to my husband's return from work in the evenings.
66. He and I watch a tv show on Netflix each night, currently Heroes, usually something sci-fi.
67. I like sci-fi movies, but not books.
68. I like to burn incense.
69. I go to the river, down the hill from my house, several times a week.
70. I'm the only member of my household who doesn't play video games.
71. My husband writes video games.
72. Our children have been proficient computer and electronics users from age 2 or 3.
73. I used my mother's maiden name rather than my own until I entered high school.
74. I sometimes sing without realizing it.
75. My 3-yr-old just asked, "Mama, are you singing? I love you to sing! Sing again!"
76. I loved it when my mother sang, too.
77. I forage in my neighborhood, and teach my kids what they can eat when we're out.
78. My 3-yr-old and I are both wearing batik today.
79. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous classes with my mother when I was a teen.
80. I lived in a women's shelter as a child.
81. I ate at the homeless mission as a child.
82. I hitchhiked with my mother when I was a child.
83. I never expected to feel as close to content as I do nowadays.
84. I still feel damaged and fragile.
85. My childhood was a horror mostly.
86. My better childhood memories are sadly not that great in retrospect.
87. I idolized my mother.
88. I miss my hometown.
89. I live 300 miles from my extended family.
90. I take a long time to feel comfortable with people.
91. I keep to myself mostly.
92. I like living in a small town, even though I hardly know anyone.
93. I spent my early twenties in a haze of marijuana and beer.
94. My first husband was a brewmaster and homebrewer.
95. We had a dedicated beer fridge on the back deck.
96. I no longer smoke and rarely drink beer anymore.
97. I don't miss those years.
98. I don't think much about the future.
99. I guess I'm content enough in the present.
100. Coming up with 100 things took much longer than I expected.